From the category archives:

sex

Turn Onz

by Myg on July 16, 2009

And we’re back with another Girl Talk Thursday! Let me just get this out of the way, I’m not participating again JUST to win sex toys from Eden Fantasys. I’m participating again because the topic is about sex, again, and who doesn’t like to write about sex on their blog?

So the question of the day is turn ons, what are yours? The depressing thing is that I had to think long and hard (oh, yes I did) about what my turn ons are these days, because as a new mother (how long are you “new” for with your first kid/s?) of twins, the action over here is sparse, to say the least. Apologies to Mr. Wisermom.

So from what I can remember, anyway, here they are:

  1. Kissing. All kinds of kissing, but mainly kissing full lipped, some tongue (but not too much), face held or a simple full on embrace. Locking lips does it for me, under almost any circumstances.
  2. Also, neck kissing.
  3. And back kissing.
  4. Kissing the back of the neck? That will get you engaged. Or a home cooked meal.
  5. And kissing pretty much any other place, other than the hyperbolic ass kissing. I hate having my ass kissed.
  6. Watching my husband do mundane sorts of manly things, like yard work.
  7. Watching my husband play guitar, though it’s been far too long since I’ve had that particular pleasure.
  8. Watching my husband with his kids makes me want to make more kids.
  9. Okay, as non-controversial as can be, I suppose it’s obvious that I’m attracted to my husband.
  10. The Tudors.
  11. Power. Not like all rich and political, though that works too. A simple shitload of confidence will do. Must explain why I love rock guys, and why I’d be a terrible dominatrix, contrary to popular belief.
  12. Strength. Sort of like power, only in the very literal “lifting heavy stuff” sense.
  13. Strength is even better when applied on my behalf, like when my husband carries something heavy for me.
  14. No, I’m not kidding or feeling even a trace of sarcasm.
  15. Hotel rooms. I obviously haven’t travelled with kids yet.
  16. Public displays of affection. Not seeing them by others, though. I  know, it’s a bit hypocritical. Oh well.
  17. ATVs. Don’t ask.

I’ve written three endings for this post right now without satisfaction so I’ll end it this way:

And they lived happily ever after.

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The Tudors isn’t Pr0n, yet. Also: a weight loss plan I can live with.

by Myg on July 9, 2009

So, I found a new blog I like: Mommymelee. This I discovered, as I discover many things these days, through the social networking genius of the year, Tatiana of A Very Good Year. Anyway, Mommymelee sponsors a thingy called Girl Talk Thursdays and while I normally do not have my shit together to jump in on these things, I couldn’t resist the topic. Pr0N! P 0 R n 0 g R a P h Y!

I don’t know if I’d feel as compelled to bang out a post on this if I hadn’t recently been caught up in my new favorite soap opera: The Tudors. The Tudors, a Showtime series about King Henry VIII and all his fucking (for those of you as tv deprived as I have been lately), isn’t technically pr0n, no, but with just a little extra effort and a little less history, it sure could be. And if you think millions of women and a decent showing of guys wouldn’t pay top dollar to see Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a p 0 r n 0, you’d be entirely, utterly wrong.

After reading a few Girl Talk Thursday posts, I realize how out of the loop I am on the whole adult entertainment front. More than once I’ve seen reference to some tricked out adult film called Pirates, and what? I’ve never even heard of it. Probably because Netflix doesn’t do adult film, and I spent most of the last year pregnant or exhausted and in case you hadn’t heard, while pregnant I had pre-term contractions and was placed on “pelvic rest” meaning no sex, and no goddamned ORGASMS from November until the twinkies were born in January. Do you know what it does to a woman to go without orgasms for 8+ weeks?  I’m embarassed to tell you, but, my body sort of forgot how to have them.  That’s really sad, isn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m working on remembering. And I’ll leave that there.

But then let me get back to the Tudors. Oh! Wow, there is a lot of fucking in that series. And all of it historical, so technically, it’s educational. Of course it’s not all fucking all the time, which may be problematic for some fans of the adult film genre. But, Jonathan Rhys Meyers! If you’ve got a half decent imagination, you can get by on the upper half shots just fine.

My big statement on the topic is this: if it makes you happy and it isn’t fucking you up in some way, enjoy it. I know for me, I’d be better off watching more pr0n and eating less junk food.

Hey. I think I just figured out my new weight-loss plan…

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