Nine Years Stronger

Dear Alex,

I know this isn’t the world’s greatest photo, but I like it anyway. The boys, the dogs, headed on some road that ends somewhere in futureland, appearing to be independent in a way (nevermind Doot’s diaper for a minute, work with me here) but of course there’s a watchful eye near enough to spot the stray hornet and shoo it away. I’ll leave the extrapolating to you, dear. No more needs to be said about it.

I am trying hard to think of what to say to you right now, on the eve of our 9th wedding anniversary, which falls somewhere in the middle of our 19th year as a couple and the 23rd year of that place in reality where we come together and stay that way. I am glad to think that you are familiar with many varied expressions of my love, commitment and adoration (hopefully more than my expressions of pissy-ness, though those aren’t rare enough, I know), and coming up with new ways to tell you I love you ain’t easy, but I’ll try.

Tonight I was thinking about what it feels like to be with you for all this time, and aside from the obvious (ie; “awesome”) or sentimental (ie; “like home”) I was thinking about how real it feels. It’s that part of your reality and existence that shapes you more than your childhood, know what I mean? We always think about the start of our lives, and how that starts us down a particular path, but this part of my life with you is so, so, so much more than that. And it’s not just the amount of time-it’s the nature of how that time with you has been experienced. Let me give you an example.

Remember the early morning when the boys were born, and we were in the OR and I was pushing and you were feeding me ice and holding my head? All those doctors and 148 medical students and interns and residents in there with us, but the only person in the world I felt I could count on was you.

You’ve always been *that* person to me. You ever will be.

Do you remember the day we were married, and Eliot said, “I now pronounce you Alex and Myg, husband and wife, forever…” and I was so choked up because he didn’t say “’til death do we part?”

I do.