Ah, this post is hard to write as it’s making me all emotional. But mother’s day is coming and I want you to know something about my own mom.
(That’s me and my mom, in a friend’s wedding, somewhere in the neighborhood of 1974.)
I want you to know that she is, in all seriousness, the bravest woman I know. No exaggeration.
You see, everything we fear as mothers, my mom has faced. My brother, her firstborn, was born completely healthy but at 6 months got an infection that, due to medical negligence, turned into a catastrophic disease that left him severely brain damaged. For the rest of his life he was unable to do even little things like roll over or smile.
His care was so intensive that when she found out she was pregnant with me, a mere six months after my brother’s problems began, people worried. Who could deal with both a newborn baby and a very sick 18 month old? Her friends, and some family thought there was no way she could handle it.
Clearly, they didn’t know my mother.
Over the years I have tried to understand how my brother’s disability may have affected my mom. Now that I am a new mom, I can just begin to understand her nightmare.
I look at my 15 week old boys and see them healthy, growing, developing normally. Every small advance they make I celebrate like a Princeton Ph.D. Sometimes I do catch myself pondering all the many things that can go wrong along the way, but I can’t let myself think of it. The reality – that very bad things happen to very good babies - is too real for me. And if you’re already paying attention, then worrying won’t do a damned thing about it.
So when I need an extra dose of courage, (which is daily, no wait, several times a day) I look to Mom. She faced the worst and lived to tell about it. And beyond that, when she was in the thick of her nightmare, she opened herself up to the possibility of facing more fear and heartache by having me. But I guess she also opened up something else.
Like the possibility of being a kickass grandmother to two beautiful boys.
Happy Mother’s Day to my beautiful Mom.
The bravest woman I know.
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My heart aches for your mother… it’s stunning how, once you become a mother yourself, the things that any mother around the world suffers becomes a little bit of suffering for you as well.
You two look beautiful in all of the pictures
Happy Mother’s Day.
Thanks Tatiana. <3
Your mother is brave. And she is the grandmother of two beautiful babies. My babies are 16 and 13, and I still worry about them all of the time.