Replay

I’ve had almost no sleep since 4pm yesterday. Pardon me if I’m a little edgy.

I started having more mild contractions again yesterday. Again, they weren’t painful. I just had a lot of them in a short period of time. No other preterm labor symptoms though. But all the same I had to go back to the hospital.

They poked me, prodded me, stuck things in me. Early this morning I had the roughest pelvic exam of my life and at this point, that’s really saying something significant. Sweet Jesus, this doctor (a stout grey haired man I’d never seen before) was barbaric. It’s 15 hours later and I’m still sore. Sure, he wanted to be certain my cervix was closed but WTF? Men like that have NO place in gynecology, I’m sorry. I’d really like to give him a reciprocal rectal exam while he’s constipated, shoving a fist up his ass with all of the vigor he employed with me this morning. Actually, no, I wouldn’t like to do that. Not at all. But I would appreciate it if  someone, preferably big fisted, would do it to him. Let me know if there are any takers.

Other than the contractions, which I kept having, all was well. In fact, they thought they’d send me home last night. But to be safe, they repeated the Fetal Fibronectin Test (fFN) and the result was positive. A refresher on what this means, from the March of Dimes:

Fetal fibronectin (fFN) is a protein produced during pregnancy and functions as a biological glue, attaching the fetal sac to the uterine lining. During the first trimester and for about half of the second trimester (up to 22 weeks of gestation), fFN is normally present in the cervico-vaginal secretions of pregnant women. In most pregnancies, after 22 weeks, this protein is no longer detected until the end of the last trimester (one to three weeks before labor).

The presence of fFN during weeks 24-34 of a high-risk pregnancy, along with symptoms of labor, suggests that the “glue” may be disintegrating ahead of schedule and alerts doctors to a possibility of preterm delivery.

and…

The greatest value of the fFN test is the high level of reliability of a negative test result. According to ACOG, “Fetal fibronectin testing may be useful in women with symptoms of preterm labor to identify those with negative values and a reduced risk of preterm birth, thereby avoiding unnecessary intervention” (1)

In women with symptoms of preterm labor, a positive fFN result, while less reliable, allows doctors and patients to take preventive measures to delay labor for as long as possible and to consider labor-suppressing (tocolytic) medications.

They were fairly surprised. I was upset. They reassured me, a positive is not something to get terribly worked up over. But since I did have it and I had two episodes of contractions within a week, they decided to give me steroid shots to help the development of Doot’s and Bing’s lungs along, just in case. It wasn’t a tough decision, but it was a recommendation that scared the crap out of me. Like, there was enough of a chance of the boys coming early that I needed to do this. That’s not what I want to hear right about now. I got my first shot yesterday and my second and final shot tonight, 24 hours later.

Today the very nice, and very gentle, and might I add, FEMALE High-Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor came to visit early this afternoon and did an ultrasound of the boys and a very gentle transvaginal ultrasound. “Your cervix is the size of Kentucky” she said. Apparently, this is a compliment. It’s a very good thing. Especially when carrying twins. The boys looked “perfect.” So all in all it looks as though things are okay. I am not, repeat, not having preterm labor. Not at this point, anyway. They just want to be sure and do whatever they can to prevent preterm labor from happening and god forbid it happens in the next week or two, give Doot and Bing every chance.

“You’re pregnant with twins – your body is not going to act the same as if you were carrying one baby.” the nice lady high-risk doc said. “How can we expect you not to contract with two babies in there at this point? Your body has stress on it more like you’re 30 weeks along, not 26.”

Well, that was a good point and made me feel much better.

Still they’re keeping me. At least until tomorrow morning, possibly through the weekend. I’m now officially out of work. But I am less freaked out by the contractions and that’s a good thing.

I keep telling myself, I’m just along for the ride now. I’m trying to let go into this experience while still remaining a strong advocate for myself. It’s a delicate balance. And it may or may not be obvious at this point, but “delicate” is not my strong suit. With two boys on the way, that’s probably a good thing though.